Posted By thestatedtruth.com on March 9, 2013

Yep, just as we thought, nobody likes the rules being changed as described below in this make believe scenario involving golf. Why? Because it gives an unfair advantage to those that didn’t earn it. The government is doing similar things involving almost every aspect of our lives. So then what makes it so hard to understand? Well, let’s look at an example. To put it all in perspective, we can look at the new health-care rules. Aah, now everything going on with the new normal of unlimited government support becomes much easier to comprehend.  Capice!

Special Notice To All Golfers:

The Government has recently appointed a Golf Czar and major rule changes in the game of Golf are now being posted.  They will become effective as of April 2013. All private golf country clubs will now be nationally regulated. Special subsidies will be given to anybody who wants to join but can’t afford to. Golf balls are now free to all entitlement card holders. Food stamps will be accepted in the private dining area and for green fee’s.  Existing private members will be taxed a 50% executive tax surcharge for the current year, 100% next year and 200% there after.  

Below is a preview as the complete rule book (expect 20,000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak. The new rule book will be available to members in paper back for $200.00 per copy. Non members will receive a hard bound collectors edition for free but must show a government entitlement card. 

Here are a few of the notable changes in the” New Golf Rule Book”.

Golfers with handicaps: Revised Rules

~ below 10 will have their green fees increased by 100%. 
~ between 11 and 18 will see an increase in green fees of 50%. 
~ above 18 will get a $40 check each time they play.

The term “gimme” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:

Cursing will not be tolerated from equity club members. Upon the second cursing tirade, the equity member’s clubs will be impounded and redistributed to an entitlement holder. The entitlement cursing redistribution list is located in the pro shop, now renamed the community shop.  Cursing and bad sportsmanship from an entitlement holder is totally understandable due to their inequity.

~ handicaps  below 10, no entitlements.
~ handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
~ handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.

Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again.

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term ‘net score’ will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.

This is intended to ‘redistribute’ the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only ‘net score’ against every other player’s gross score.  

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf  because the President says it’s the “right thing to do”.

Golf must be about Fairness and Equality.   It should have nothing to do with Ability, Hard Work, Practice, and Responsibility.    

Wise Dog

Categories: Commentary, Inspirational, Jokes, Tid Bits
Tags: Change, Equality, Fairness, Go Joe, gold, New, Rules, Tiger